the-hoff-unofficial:

• broke into some old dude’s mansion to mix some chemicals
  
• broke into some (other) old dude’s pharmacy to mix some chemicals
• destroyed several mirrors in a mirror maze but somehow got away with it
• scared 2 teens who were lowkey making out in a no-PDA tunnel of love
• third-wheeled a 1600s romanian fuckboy and a young woman who was kidnapped by a vampire
• hypnotized a deformed man into thinking he was a chicken somehow?
• i think i saved this other guy with fried dough
• shot a bat with a crossbow
• threw a girl out of a cage hanging from the roof but somehow she was fine
• nearly burned down a vampire’s castle trying to light the chandeliers because he can’t get electricity
• cried about quincy p morris
• stole a horse for fun
• stole a jeep for fun
• borrowed a helicopter from a pretentious rich guy (also i think i moved in w him without his consent and now i’m just mooching off of him)
• had a spitting match
• lost a spitting match